Case File Entry #6: Suspect Profile

Jessica held out longer than the others. Leather jacket, whiskey breath, glare sharp enough to cut through foam. She swore she was immune. Then she took the PSL like it was a dare. One swallow, and the word slipped out.

“Cozy vibes.”

Her eyes narrowed, but it was too late. The spice had her.

That left me with the file. A crooked photocopy, red string and push-pins. You don’t open something like that unless the city’s already gone.

[Exhibit C — SUSPECT PROFILE]
Alias: Pumpkin Spice Bandit
Name: Doug Judy
Description: Velvet jacket, grin too wide for the season.
Prop: Latte cup glowing faint amber under poor light.
Known Motive: Cinnamon-sugar control; seasonal enchantment to lull the city into submission.
Behavioral Notes:

• Claims responsibility for proliferation of all pumpkin spice products.

• Surfaces each fall, disappears by December.

• Leaves a cinnamon stick behind at scenes of influence.
  Weakness: Documented distraction by karaoke night.
  Threat Level: Citywide.

This isn’t just a flavor crime. It’s seasonal dominion.

By Ivy Harrow